Bad Business Ideas

Bad Business Ideas: The Oscar Edition

People are often inspired by movies. Sometimes by the great cinematography, by the great stories, by the great performances. What else? The locations. The sound effects. The gaffer and best boy. Even the product placement.

But that doesn’t do anything for me. What I’m looking for when I watch a movie is the next Bad Business Idea™. And it could come from any movie at any time. Here are just a few.

WarGames. Everyone remembers this Matthew Broderick classic as the movie where they invented online tic-tac-toe or something. I’m not really sure. I have to tell you, I had no idea what was happening after the dinner scene at the main character’s house early in the movie.

Do you remember that? What the dad does with the corn? Takes the butter, butters a piece of bread to preposterous levels. You’re watching thinking that guy doesn’t have long to live. AND THEN. He takes a corn cob and uses the bread as a butter applicator. Brilliant. And now it’s ours.

Best Supporting Baked Good: Butter Buns. A line of dinner rolls that are the perfect shape for butter delivery.

Next up, Jaws. What did Jaws teach us? First, never go swimming in the ocean. Second, never go on a boat in the ocean. Third, nature hates us and wants to kill us all the time every day, especially in and around the ocean.

Having said that, it did give us a way to improve sushi. It’s delightful, possibly healthy, but it takes so long to make. They cut it. They roll it. They cut it again maybe. I don’t know.

But, take a container of compressed air. Take a gun. And get a big fish. Boom, sushi in a snap.

Best Short: Chum Rush. A faster way to make sushi.

The Matrix. Terminator. Westworld

Basically, they’re the same story. One that is a thousands of years old. Humans build robots. Robots get smart. Robots overthrow man. There are cave paintings about it.

What if we were to build robots – Stay with me here – That don’t kill or enslave us. I don’t mean never build robots. I mean leave the murder software out. How hard could that be?

Best Boring Ending: Happy Fun Time Non-Murder Robots Unlimited. Need to work on that name.



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